One of the Most Brilliant Minds of Our Generation
Ask for things to make fun of, and you shall receive. I guess that is change I can believe in.
Today President Obama mistook a window for a door.
Yes, you read that right. The leader of our country can’t tell the difference between a window, which I’m pretty sure doesn’t even open, and a door with clear hinges.
I feel so secure.
How Obama Can Earn My Respect
I’m probably never going to agree with the man’s policies, but there are a few ways President Obama can win some of my respect.
Warning: If you cannot recognize and appreciate sarcasm, turn back now
If Obama wants me to respect him as a man, he needs to show he has a sense of humor. Poke some fun at himself instead of his insistence on being serious 100% of the time. Here are some suggestions:
Pick a theme song, and play it at press conferences
I have a few recommendations:
“Raise Up” – Petey Pablo: This song is inspirational in that it encourages people from all cities to “raise up” and express themselves by removing their clothing.
“Ridin’” – Chamillionaire: You know, cause they see him rollin’, they hatin’…
“Whatever You Like” – T.I.: You can have it. It’s right there, in the stimulus package. No, seriously.
“Get On the Bus” – Timbaland: Because it won’t be long til he throws you under it.
“Louie, Louie” – The Kingsmen: Interpret the lyrics like you interpret his speeches. Who knows what he’s saying?
“Batter Up” – Nelly: Ok, this song is just awesome. That’s enough.
“Yo, Excuse Me Miss” – Chris Brown: No, wait. That was filed under Clinton. My bad.
“My Way” – Butch Walker: Because dissent is not cool.
Remind us in every public appearance who won the election
No really, I keep forgetting.
Have multiple teleprompters, for easy reading when looking in different directions
How funny would that be? Come on, seriously. We all know he can’t get away from the damn things.
Bring Joe Biden out of his hidey-hole
That man is comedy gold. Take the duct tape off of his mouth and let him make a gaffe or twelve. I need someone to laugh at for the next four years.
And here are some suggestions from the twitter-verse:
@pharaoh7 – get a superhero cape and walk around calling himself the Mocha Messiah
@AmericanSweetie – he should grow a Hitler-esque mustache so that he at least looks like the ruler he emulates.
@danzphoto – If he’s going to empty Gitmo, how bout filling it w/ 535 people from down the street?
@FaitAccompli – Follow through on his campaign promises to part the seas and push back the clouds
@heathermclain – He could wear a hat with an atrociously large bedazzled bow…R-E-S-P-E-C-T worked for Aretha…
What can he do to win you over?
We Now Interrupt This Blog…
Apologies, but there will be no lengthy post tonight about either sports or politics. I am watching the Hawks and Celtics at the Highlight Factory.
Rest easy though, I’ll be back tomorrow with more pure awesomeness.
Aaaaand the Hawks got absolutely HOSED on foul calls all night. The officials should be embarrassed.
