Stop. Eating. Plants.
I think I might start a campaign against vegetarians. If it’s cruel for me to eat (and enjoy) animals, it’s dangerous for them to eat plants.
If you’re so eco-friendly and “green,” you shouldn’t be eating things that live off of sunlight and carbon dioxide. In case you haven’t heard, the greenhouse effect is gonna kill us all. And you just so happen to be eating the things that create oxygen.
You’re dooming us all to suffocation and boiling. You vegetarians are ruining this planet. If you weren’t so busy eating all of our life-giving plants, maybe the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere wouldn’t be increasing! What would Al Gore think?
You’re gonna drown the polar bears. It’s very hypocritical of you to claim you’re trying to protect them from extinction when you’re eating the very things that could save them. What now? Bring it on PETA!
Well, I Lied
I said I wasn’t going to actually post tonight because I was watching the game. Then I proclaimed to twitter that I was too pissed off about the officiating of the game (which was total bullshit, don’t argue) to post. Well, now I’m not. You can thank my brother for making me laugh and putting me back in the jolly liberal mocking mood.
If you read my first post (which let’s face it, you should have,) you already know how I feel about this whole global warming thing. If you haven’t read it, go do so now. I’ll wait.
Back? Good. It’s ok, you can tell me I’m smart, funny, beautiful…It’s all true.
Anyway, to revisit the subject for a few minutes (about four and a half, actually), go check out this video and have a good laugh. I’m sure you could use it.
I’m Getting Hotter, the Earth is Not
We’ve reached the end of 2008, and I’ve again found myself reflecting on the issue of global warming, or climate change, or whatever the correct term is for the completely fabricated crisis that the world is facing (which the United States is solely responsible for, by the way.)
Here in Georgia we’re in a “perpetual state of drought” because over the past several years we’ve gotten less than the average amount of rainfall and our lakes are “drying up.” At least that’s what we’re being told. I have several issues with this, not the least of which is that the US government has decided that we should release a certain amount of water from our lakes and send it to Florida and Alabama.
Let’s start with the average annual rainfall, shall we? After several years of less than average rainfall, would the average not change? I’m pretty sure that we all learned mean, median and mode when we were taking elementary school math (though I could be wrong, our public schools are atrocious.) All I’m saying is, there’s a reason it’s called “average.”
Also, what happens to the rain deficit/surplus on New Year’s Eve? Does it just reset at midnight January 1st? Where does the extra rain go when there’s a surplus at the end of the year? Where does it come from if there’s a deficit?
And let’s not forget that the government is sending our water south. Is the state of Alabama dealing with a watering ban? Are the lawns in Florida brown and dying? Not that I’ve heard. If we’re in such a bad state of drought, why can’t we keep our own water?
Plus, we’d really appreciate it if Tennessee would give us our land back, thanks.
On to the bigger issue: the global warming hoax is quickly losing favor with scientists. It’s about freaking time. The warmest decade in the past century was the 1930’s, long before the serious congestion on highways in LA and cities like it. The Middle Ages was the hottest time period in recorded history, before the industrial revolution. What’s more infuriating is that the average temperature has gone down in the past decade, hence the sudden switch to the term “climate change” as opposed to “global warming.”
I’ve actually heard proponents of this nonsense claim that global warming is causing colder temperatures. Oh? That makes total sense! I often find myself complaining that my furnace has made my house cold. I’ve also heard that global warming is causing a shortage of water, which is interesting for two reasons: approximately 71% of the earth is covered with the stuff, it literally FALLS FROM THE SKY; and the “ice caps are melting” crowd is super concerned that the ocean levels will rise due to excess water from the melting ice.
I’m highly skeptical of all of the man made climate change hype. Throughout history there have been several periods of ice ages and warm periods. I’m firmly planted in the “it’s a naturally occurring phenomenon” camp, and fully intend to remain so. I’ve seen no hard evidence supporting global warming, or climate change or anything of the sort. Just let me water my damn lawn.
